Okay no sorry more depression blogging
But what’s the point of even saying something like, “I’m sad”? What am I hoping for, for people to care? I know, rationally, already… people do care about me. They’d leave me if they didn’t. Is that what I want?
I already know that I’m not going to be happy anytime soon.
I’m sad, I get to be sad and unhappy and anxious and mad until it all magically goes away, and then I live normally until it comes back.
And the only way to get out of that loop is medication and therapy, but of course, when the fuck am I going to be able to get that?
If I’m not working, I don’t get the car. I get to sit around at home, alone, slowly sinking deeper.
So I guess I just feel like life is really pretty pointless right now, isn’t it
I don’t know why I say I’m sad. I’m always sad.